#121: On accountability and taking ownership

Content warning: domestic abuse, racism

I was running a little late for the Atlanta Dream game on Sunday. The doors opened to the media at 1:30 p.m., with Karl Smesko speaking to reporters at 2:05 p.m.

I hate being late. I need to be on time, if not early. But I made an exception yesterday. I was spending time with Blayne, and we were watching the "Untold: Deal with the Devil" on Netflix. It was the story of Christy Martin and the abuse that she suffered from her husband, Jim.

I wanted to stay to finish the show with my partner.

If you haven't watched it, I recommend it. The abuse was exhausting to see through the TV lens that Christy suffered. Jim was a piece of shit, and he thankfully died in 2024. Rest in piss, Jim.

While the physical, mental, emotional, grooming, reproductive abuse that she suffered at the hands of her partner who was nearly a quarter-century older than her, I couldn't shake the part of the abuse that her parents played.

Both parents were interviewed in the piece. When Christy made her abusive situation known to her dad, he said, "what can I do? She has to live her own life."

But then, after she was stabbed and shot by her husband, her dad unleashed all of the typical built-up misogyny that is too common.

"We were looking for him. And if I found him, I would have killed him."

Fuck you, dude.

That's not to mention her mom blaming Christy's girlfriend for her husband attacking her.

Not once throughout the entire episode did either parent say, "this is how I felt at the time."

No.

They just spoke like it was normal to feel that way.

No accountability. No acknowledging that they failed to protect her. No acknowledgement of the abuse from her husband. No "I wish we would have done more."

Just fake-ass alligator tears and "woe is me, she won't speak to me."

No shit.

There was just zero accountability there. And we see that far too often in our society when it comes to normal people, people abusing others, people who wrong their partners, or anytime a famous person fucks up.

It's a half-ass apology that doesn't even include an apology and just, instead, makes an excuse for their actions.

It's tiring.

That's why when Sandy Brondello actually apologized after her harmful comments to Angel Reese on Friday night in Toronto, it was refreshing to see.

And please know that this isn't praising someone for doing what they should do. That's like giving kudos to a dude for not taking advantage of someone after a long night at the bar.

But still, it was a real apology and refreshing to see.

If you missed it, following the Dream's game against the Tempo, audio was released of Brondello calling Reese a "protected species."

Yikes. Fucking yikes.

We came to learn, thanks to many Australians who entered the chat and, more so, people who just hate (Black) women, that it's a common phrase that is used in Australia to reference someone who "gets their way" or has "preferential treatment."

And, you know, I hear that.

But what I am so so so so happy about is that Brondello did not mention that in her initial statement.

It would have been easy to. We see it all of the time.

But instead, Brondello took accountability.

Now that, right there, is an apology.

Brondello ended up getting suspended for one game by the WNBA, which is more than fair.

"I am grateful that the league did take action on what the situation had happened," Reese told reporters in a media scrum before Sunday's game. "There is no place for discrimination or hate in this league from anyone, from fans to coaches to players, and I'm just grateful that we are able to move off in the situation and just play winning basketball. The WNBA is supposed to be positive, and we are going in a great light right now."

I posted Reese's statement linked with the questions that I asked head coach Karl Smeko about the situation on my social media channels.

The trolls were out.

"Soft generation."

"Playing the victim."

"🤣"

"It's a common phrase in Australia!"

It's what we expected, but it's nevertheless disappointing.

I understand cultural differences. I also understand that what is OK in one place isn't OK in another place.

The best examples that I can give to people are the following.

In Europe, people call other people "cunts" all of the time. It's second nature.

But if you call someone that here, you're getting fired, getting punched, or both.

There's also a three-letter f word that people will use when they are smoking a cigarette. They are smoking a f--.

Here, it has a different meaning. It's a harmful homophobic term.

I've chatted with Brondello once. She couldn't have been kinder. I believe her apology, but I also believe in accountability and taking ownership.

Brondello did just that with her words.